So lately I have been growing more and more hatred for the male species and how they treat me. Growing up I never got along with my father, he always acting more immature and more like a child than I . I still to this day ask my mother if there was any way possible she got drunk out of her mind and got roofied and blah blah you know. But no that's not the case my mom isn't a drunk nor a tart, she is a woman of class! But I always ask her why that man is my father. Over the course of my 18 years I have always wondered why he acts the way he acts. Throughout my childhood i have been physically and emotionally abused by him, he always telling me that I'm not going to amount to anything and constantly putting me down. One time I was cooking dinner when I was staying at his house in 4th grade, and I was browning ground beef on the stove, i picked a piece and put it in my mouth for taste. Out of no where he comes running up to me and screams at me and squeezes my neck for eating the piece of ground beef. I was 10. Another time we were fighting and he called me a dildo who calls their child a dildo? That's just horrible. My father has never really cared about my emotional state or that sort of thing ,when came time to being a father his idea was getting out his wallet and paying for things.So ultimately that's how our relationship grew, based on money.I have had hatred for my dad probably since as long as I can remember. Throughout my 18 years on this earth he has probably told me he loves me less than 20 times each of them forced. What really angers me is I get blamed for the things that go on with my father. I always get blamed for what goes on behind closed doors, what people don't know is that he is abusive and he puts on a front when around others. All my father cares about is money, and although I'm mad at him for backing out of giving me $2,000 something dollars that he has been promising to me for the past 6 months, it doesn't mean that this is the reason I'm writing this post, I'm writing this post because I'm tired of men treating me like shit, and for the past 18 years it has just been building up and building up. Dad I don't want anything to do with you anymore and you keep your money because it has no value to me.
Don't get me wrong It's not just my dad that disappoints, its men of all shapes, sizes,colors and ethnicity's.
My whole life I have been tortured and ridiculed by the male species. There is only a handful of males that i can say truly care. Men always lie to me and tell me one thing when they have no plan of following through. They don't befriend me ;because, to them a tranny is some sort of disease walking monster that will kill all. FACE IT GUYS just because I'm friendly to you does NOT mean i want your salami stick. Stop being that way I'm actually just trying to be friends with everyone! not your penis, cause honey i really don't need that extra burden. I know my beauty threatens you and makes you question your sexuality but that's not my fault I got what my mama gave me and the unknown guy who got her drunk JK ;).I just want to be friends with everyone! STOP HA TIN because you have insecurities trust me I'm a recovering hater i Know how it works.
No I don't want the salami stick and yes these gates to heaven are locked and secured with armed guards. This; however, does not mean that I don't get sad that guys "think" or "say" that I'm ugly, or say "Look at that fag", or whatever. A fag is a cigarette not a person. I like anybody in this world, want a man to want me. That's just human nature, everyone wants a man or woman to want them. But the disappointing thing about being a tranny is, that guys are too scared to even be friends with a girl like me, because they don't want to be labeled. BITCH everyone is going to label you on everything you do that's just life. But what I wish is that a guy would just simply tell me he thinks I'm beautiful or that he wants to hangout with me just for fun. That doesn't happen ,guys are just too scared. Like one guy i was talking to , he did tell me all the things I wanted to hear and he took an interest in me and i let my guard down only to get hurt. When came time to hanging out with me he couldn't be seen with me in public. I'm not a fugitive that you are harboring, I'm a human being with feelings and emotions and i just want that male companionship. It would be nice just for a flipping friend that is a male that actually wants to hang. But they are too scared ,they want to maintain their macho side.
I wish guys would be more open minded , less judging ,and to stop being so mean and just try to be nice. We all know you think it . And I want to thank all the ones that have not cared what others think you are more macho to me than any other guy with big muscles, because you stay true to your feelings and respect everybody.
And thank you Cody my wonderful brother for being the ONLY positive male role model in my life, you are more of a father to me than my own and I want to thank you.
I love you BEESH.
Bahhh
Stay Tuned
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