Positive light

I am the first to admit that all my life I have been a very negative person, and that is based on experiences I have had. I have always suffered from depression, and that, I believe has contributed majorly to my life, and how I deal with and perceive things that happen. Always looking at the negative doesn't do a person any good, and I have been trying to be more open minded, optimistic, and positive. It is a struggle, but the more you do it the more it works. If you make enough of an effort to do something, you will accomplish it. Obviously it comes with a lot of work, and it may seem useless at the time when you are not feeling so good, but it is so worth it.I have been looking at every situation an pulling out positive aspects of it. I even do this with not so good experiences. By doing this, I have noticed that the more and more I do it, the less of an effort I have to make  because I have started doing it more and more naturally.                

 Yesterday for example I hung out with a guy who I thought could be a possible match, we had fun and talked and he is a nice guy, but I started to realize through the couple hours that I was with him that we really don't match. I didn't care for his personality, he seemed a little controlling, he was very paranoid about little things, and he talked about his ex girlfriend almost the whole time.  I realized through this that I don't want to see him again. 

In the past I would beat my self up and think that there was something wrong with me. I would read too much into every little teeny tiny detail and make my self feel worse. He took me home and when I got home I started thinking about the night. I looked for anything positive that happened over the night and I made a list in my head. 

1.) We did have fun, 2.) It was nice to get out of the house, 3.) talking to him was good conversation, 4.) I did not let him have sex with me. I'm so proud of myself for that! Iv'e seen him twice and I denied him both times. Not because I didn't necessarily want to, but because It never worked in my past experiences, and it feels like crap when you sleep with someone who you are trying to possibly date, and they don't exist afterwards. At least to me it's not a good feeling. I'm learning from my past mistakes and becoming a better person because of it. I could have came home and listed all the things that I didn't like and all the things that were annoying, but that doesn't get you anywhere. Doing that, just makes you feel worse, and then you start to spiral down into that dark world of negativity. 

I'm so proud of myself on the changes that I'm making and it feels so good. This is life and there will be negative things, but looking at the positive in every situation helps you be more positive and by doing that you will start to realize that you can make the best out of everything and be happy. 

Other things that help me.

1.) Doing things I love to do; gardening, interaction with friends, being with my two babies( cat, dog), reading, being outside, decorating, and being creative. That is so helpful to feeling good.

2.) Surrounding my self with positive people.

3.) Exploring new things. 

4.) being open minded and trying to understand things I don't agree with, but just realizing that I don't have to like it, but learning is good.

5.) take care of your self physically (I need to work a lot more on this one.) 

6.) don't worry about money, life isn't revolved around fancy things. They don't make you happy, and as long as I have enough to get by I am fine.

7.) If I fall down, it happens. Pick myself up and try try again. Nobody said life was easy. hard work pays off  ( working on it)

Make a list for yourself, do the things, look at the positive in all situations, and be a happy person. 

I hope this can help someone else. Thank you so much for supporting my blog. 

(Vinny, 1.5 years)

Me:)

Baby Vinny giving momma kisses :)

Have a great day from Kourtnie and Vinny :)

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Happy Saturday!